Week four picks

Last week I was 7-5-4, bringing my total record to 21-20-7. The key being the 7. That's an impressive number of pushes. Especially when you consider half points make it impossible for about half the games to end in a push. See folks, markets work.

HOUSTON at Atlanta (+3) The return of Matt Schaub as the Texans' QB should be as painful to Atlanta as General Sherman returning as the Texans' QB would be.

JETS at Buffalo (+3.5) Mangini might be the man-genius today, but just ask Willie Randolph what happens to a once revered New York coach when his team starts losing or blows a division lead of historic proportion.

Baltimore at CLEVELAND (+4) If they had played football in ancient China, there would surely be an ancient Chinese proverb along the lines of "For fisherman, two fish good. For football coach, two starting quarterbacks bad." In our modern times this proverb would come up in discussions of wives, movie sequels and the current Baltimore Raven quarterback situation.

St. Louis at DALLAS (+13) I think fantasy football jumped the shark about when everyone and their mentally challenged great aunt starting playing it. But if you do play fantasy football -- and you probably do -- and drafted Steven Jackson with the number two pick, ha, ha.

Chicago at DETROIT (+3) Fans of the errant pass lament: Rex Grossman has been benched.

OAKLAND at Miami (-4) Although, pending the health status of Josh McNown, such enthusiasts could still have Culpepper.

SEATTLE at San Fransisco (+2) Sorry Seahawk and 49er fans, but I've got nothing. Your teams are as boring as they are uninteresting.

Tampa Bay at CAROLINA (-3) I might end up changing this pick over the weekend, depending on who ends up starting at QB for Carolina.

Pittsburgh at ARIZONA (+6) The Cardinals may have lost last week, but when the pious and charitable Kurt Warner entered game for -- and then outperformed -- the club-hopping and single-mother making Matt Leinart, Jesus won.

Denver at INDIANAPOLIS (+9.5) Has any defending champion been so under the radar after a 3 and 0 start?

GREEN BAY at Minnesota (+1) Every week Brett Farve knocks Dan Marino's name off another record. But there is one category he will never be able to match the former Dolphin QB in: Blind stupid rage.

Kansas City at SAN DIEGO (-11.5) Not only I'm I taking the beleaguered Chargers, but I am calling it my lock of the week.

PHILADELPHIA at Giants (+3) Last week, the HBO Real Sport triggered black quarterback controversy ended up really working for Donnovan McNabb. On the field, at least. But on the field is all that matters. Which is why I think McNabb should make whining about racial injustice part of his pre-game ritual every week -- kind of like Wade Boggs and the chicken.

NEW ENGLAND at Cincinnati (+7) If you go by what has happened in New England's previous three games, it stands to reason the Patriots will score exactly 38 points on Monday night. Which would be quite a victory for the Bengals' porous defense.