Short rambling on Paris Hilton and adjectives

As a blogger, I'm always trying to think of clever ways to describe people. Which means I pay extra attention to how other writers use adjectives in reference to blog worthy personalities. For example, I just noticed a cutline editor on Yahoo!'s front page referred to Vanessa Hudgens as "scandalized Vanessa Hudgens."

I like this description a lot: Not too fancy, very succinct, and "scandalized" is a lively word. Yet -- while "scandalized" is certainly a modifier for our time -- you don't see it used in non-verb form very often.

Or maybe you do. I actually have an awful conscious memory for these things. Which is good, because that means the next time naked pictures of a starlet leak on the web I will be able to introduce her as the "scandalized" so-and-so, and think myself quite clever for my original usage.

But sometimes I will also notice descriptions that leave my cold. That happened this morning. I can't remember where, but a writer described Paris Hilton as "Ex-con Paris Hilton."

Accurate enough, but something really bothered me seeing it put that way. It took me a few moments before I realized what it was: Calling her an ex-con gives Paris Hilton a gravitas that, quite frankly, she doesn't deserve.