Thursday, October 18, 2007

I'd like this "Manny being Manny" thing to catch on

Boston slugger and honorary Valley Girl Manny Ramirez was at it again yesterday. Stating that if his Red Sox weren't able to come back from their 3-1 deficit to the Cleveland Indians it wouldn't be "like the end of the world" because "who cares."

Well the fervent Red Sox Nation cares, and they can't be too happy with their star player's nonchalance. Then again, anything Manny Ramirez says can be easily dismissed as just another case of "Manny being Manny."

As I've opined before, the appeal of such a line of reasoning lies largely in "Manny being Manny" being so fun to say.

That in mind, are there any other public figures whose intentions and activities we can peg exclusively to a simple, phonetically pleasing reduction? I nominate the following:

Rudy Giuliani
Every day Rudy Giuliani confirms what his critics can't stop screaming about: This is one weird hombre. When he's not answering phone calls from his wife in the middle of speeches, or discussing Martian attacks with ten year olds, Rudy turns to rhetorical excess, spitting out head-scratchers such as "I gave my blood for the New York Republicans" or "the American economy is the last best hope of humanity." Yet the more the public sees of Rudy, the more they don't seem to mind his idiosyncrasies. So the next time Rudy says or does something odd -- probably while wearing his third wife's panties -- instead of obsessing over how it's going to play in the flyover states, remember -- it's just Rudy being Rudy.

Lindsay Lohan
Today we have reports that, while rehabbing in Utah, Lilo had crazy stairwell sex with a pro snowboarder type, breaking up his engagement back home. If true, this would be at least the second marriage Lohan has destroyed while she was getting dry over the summer. One can only imagine the number of relationships she has been able to effect outside of rehab, where there aren't strict rules against sex, and everyone's judgement is clouded by the drugs. Many would argue this makes Lindsay a bad person. I say the responsibility lies with all the women foolish enough to allow their man to go be housed in the same rehab facility as Lohan. Or, for that matter, to live in New York or Los Angeles. The Mean Girl's star can't help herself. It's just Lindsay being Lindsay.

Vladimir Putin
Buoyed by a huge influx of petrol dollars, all Russian President Vladimir Putin seems to be doing these days is engaging in cold-war era saber rattling and thinking of clever ways to beat the Russian constitution and declare himself president for all of eternity. Putin is also known to molest young boys in public squares, and is increasingly cozing up to Iran, the arch-enemy of the United States. But don't worry, George W. Bush, the great seer that he is, once spotted goodness behind Putin's ice blue eyes. So until the tanks roll into Hungary, there is no need to restock the old bomb shelter. It's just Pootie being Pootie.

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