Idle threat of the week

In his final novel, The Last Tycoon, F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote "there are no second acts in American lives." These days Fitzgerald's most famous line is only brought up so it can be mocked and declared woefully erroneous.

But just because a few prominent exceptions clash with the inflexible confidence of Fitzgerald's words, it doesn't mean his declaration holds no wisdom at all. Why else would George Foreman's journey from surly black hat wearing boxing bad guy to cheerful, upbeat fat-burning grill pitchman be so celebrated, if it wasn't so surprising?

And, since its appeal lies in its uniqueness, why is Evander Holyfield trying to usurp Foreman's second act by introducing his own no-stick, dishwasher friendly fat-burning grill called the "real deal?"

Holyfield might have once defeated Foreman for the heavy weight championship of the world, but the only belt Holyfield will take for this misguided attempt to best his former rival's snowflake-like metamorphosis is Idle Threat of the Week for September 24 to 30.

(Of course I'd feel completely differently if this was Mike Tyson introducing a new grill. The thoroughly entertaining Iron Mike deserves as many acts as he can beg, borrow or steal.)