Idle threat of the week

Many suspect Tom Cruise of harboring a secret. Perhaps this is because the Top Gun actor once studied to be a priest. Or perhaps it is because his sex scenes with then-wife Nicole Kidman in Eye Wide Shut were so improbable and awkward audience members were forced to conclude the Hollywood couple with two adopted children had yet to consummate their relationship off screen.

Becoming a Scientologists only added to the talk Cruise has something to hide, as other famous male actors who elicit similar whispers have also hitched their wagon to the nouveau-religion.

Cruise divorced Kidman in 2001, and, amid snickers about elaborate contracts and ten million dollar payouts, married Katie Holmes in 2006.

Miffed that last time he wed a desirable actress his relationship with her only made him appear gayer, Cruise seems to have instructed Holmes to play up the physical aspect of their marriage during interviews. Like when she spoke to US Magazine last week and revealed her husband's biggest turn on:

Tom likes me in a suit and a mini every now and then. I like it when he likes it. It makes me blush. He'll say, 'You look good. I hope security's going with you.' Now that gives me attitude.

Well that's a weird way to put it. Especially for someone who was born in America with English as her first language. I suspect, in conversations with Cruise (and Cruise's auditor) before the interview, Holmes had been prepped that research shows many heterosexual men are turned on by a woman in uniform. But Holmes, obviously not much for improv, got confused and wasn't sure if she was supposed to be wearing the uniform, or if she was supposed to be surrounded by a group of strapping men wearing uniforms.

And Tom Cruises' attempt to use Katie Holmes to prove he is all the action hero he can be is the Idle Threat of the Week for December 10-16. The role of Tom Cruise's wife is a challenging one and they should have hired a better actress.