Week 14 picks

I went 8-8 last week. I'm now 88-88-16 overall. It is a demonstrable fact that there isn't another prognosticator on the Internet who can out multiple of eight me. Here are this week's picks:

CHICAGO at Washington (-3) Are there even timeouts in NASCAR?

CAROLINA at Jacksonville (-10.5) Did you know Jacksonville was once the "Hollywood" of the silent film era, with over 300 movies made in the Florida city during the early 1900's? That's what I like to call a "Jax fact."

DALLAS at Detroit (+11) As Romo ratchets up his flirtations with Jessica Simpson, watch for Terrell Owens to begin sulking and doing crazy things to get attention.

Miami at BUFFALO (-7) Now that Bush has decided to play God and freeze the rates for the hapless sub prime borrower, will he also freeze the losses for the hapless Dolphins?

Giants at PHILADELPHIA (-2.5) Now that Romney has finally gotten his "Mormon speech" out of the way, isn't it time for fellow LDS member Andy Reid to finally explain his faith in passing the ball on every damn down.

Oakland at GREEN BAY (-10) Brett Favre took SI's Sportsmen of the Year last week. And if Time Mag is off their pronoun recognition kick, who knows?

SAN DIEGO at Tennessee (even) San Diego's re-commitment to Norv Turner throws cold water over Redskin owner Dan Snyder's plan to bring the notoriously ineffectual coach back to Washington.

St. Louis at CINCINNATI (-6.5) What you have here is classic match up between two teams with nothing to play for.

TAMPA BAY at Houston (+3) Full disclosure: Before last Sunday I thought the quarterbacking McCown brothers were the same person. (And that their first name was "Cade")

ARIZONA at Seattle (-6.5) Lately, I've been enjoying the solo work of ex-Stone Roses' Frontman Ian Brown.

Minnesota at SAN FRANSISCO (+9) There is nothing more difficult than attempting to write an interesting one sentence blurb about a football game that involves the San Fransisco 49ers.

Pittsburgh at NEW ENGLAND (-10) Steeler Anthony Smith has guaranteed victory over the undefeated Patriots. You are probably wondering who this Smith guy is. Precisely. A Roethlisberger would never have to engage in such silliness to get his name out.

Cleveland at JETS (+3.5) If humans had the capability to know then what they know now Eric Mangini wouldn't be in so many commercials.

Kansas City at DENVER (-6.5) This is a little inside baseball -- in fact that is exactly what this is -- but the only word I can use to describe the Kansas City Royals giving three years 36 million dollars to the mediocre, ne'er-do-well, HGH user Jose Guillen is the word stupefying.

Indianapolis at BALTIMORE (+10) After Hugo Chavez's defeat, Brian Billick's is reconsidering that referendum on making him Raven's supreme coach for life.

NEW ORLEANS at Atlanta (+4.5) Reggie Bush might be a bust, and Michael Vick might be in prison, but Two and a Half Men will be a repeat!