He's no Chuck Norris

This morning, John Kerry's endorsement of Barack Obama may have sent a ripple or two through the political establishment. While Kerry always makes me think of windsurfing, and how different his skull would look from that of a normal skull, here is what the three remaining Democratic candidates for President are thinking about 2004's Democratic nominee right now:

John Edwards Bummer. It was only four years ago the other John and I were touring the country together. Not since the heyday of folk-pop stars Evan and Jaron had either America seen such a luminously haired duo. Where did we go wrong?

Barack Obama Wow, this whole Kerry endorsement thing is actually getting some media play. Should we distance ourselves from it? I guess we'll let it go. But if I hear a word about Bob Shrum . . .

Hillary Clinton (Turns to the camera and sniffles) The boys . . . they're ganging up on me again.