Thursday, March 20, 2008

Broderick owes poll voters punch in the face

Much is being made about about a poll in Maxim magazine in which Sarah Jessica Parker, star of the upcoming Sex and the City movie, was voted unsexiest woman alive. Parker has admitted the results of the poll were upsetting and "brutal."

While I'm not sure if Sarah Jessica Parker is really the unsexiest woman alive -- and, as another blogger pointed out, things would have surely been different if the poll included the recently dead -- I do remember a conversation about SJP's looks I had about seven or eight years ago

It was with a girl who was a big fan of the Sex and the City TV show. She was going on about how pretty and stylish Parker was. I guess I must have been making a face because she asked me why I disagreed.

I told her it isn't really that Parker is ugly, but that her razor sharp features -- in particular her knees, elbows and chin-- frightened me, and I feared if I got too close to her I would get chopped up like Edward Scissorhands did to those shrubs. I also added that if the equally jagged jointed Dikembo Mutumbo (yes, this is my second Mutombo mention in a little more than a week) ever got Parker pregnant their children would be Swiss Army Knives.

As Sarah Jessica Parker has lamented. the big loser here her might be her husband Matthew Broderick. Now Broderick isn't quite Brad Pitt but, during the mid-80's, in movies such as War Games and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, he sold many tickets and made many a adolescent girl swoon with his boyish charm. That alone should have given him a much better chance than the average schlub would have had marrying any of the millions and millions of women now in their thirties.

Broderick, a lifelong New York City resident, has also buttressed his acting resume by starring in The Producers -- the biggest Broadway hit in many years. A straight Broadway star would be a quite a catch among the Big Apple's many female theater fans.

In conclusion Mathew Broderick marrying the least sexy woman in the world is akin to Mississippi Valley State winning the NCAA championship. An upset we should all celebrate and savor, despite the pain it might bring to the Parker/Broderick household.

1 comment:

ruthie7188 said...

I would like to be able to pass judgement on the people who make and publish these destructive, hurtful comments. Sarah is sexy, beautiful, and classy. I have always loved her look.