Thursday, March 27, 2008

Hoops also evokes the Dickensian aspect

When the NCAA mens' basketball championship isn't going on, I won't hear from JSB basketball correspondent Hoops McCann for weeks at a time. He is out doing who-knows-what with who-knows-who, perfectly happy to deny the blogsphere his insights on the NBA.

But suddenly, when everybody starts paying attention to the college game, Hoops reemerges. And he has a message for all you sheep-like bracketeers:

DON'T WATCH COLLEGE BASKETBALL. COLLEGE BASKETBALL IS CHILD SLAVERY. WOULD YOU WATCH A BUNCH OF 19th CENTURY STREET URCHINS -- SLOW UNDERSIZED PALE SKINNED STREET URCHINS -- BEING FORCED TO WORK ALL DAY AND NIGHT IN A TEXTILE MILL FOR THE PROFIT OF BIG MONEYED CORPORATIONS. ONLY IT'S NOT REALLY LIKE THAT BECAUSE AT LEAST THE STREET URCHINS WOULD BE GETTING PAID IN LUKEWARM SOUP AND CHARACTER-BUILDING CANINGS. AND I DOUBT THEY WOULD BE GETTING MERCILESSLY CRITICIZED BY A SCREECHING BILLY PACKER.

In his latest dispatch Hoops stresses the importance of tonight's Denver Nuggets/Dallas Mavericks match up. Which will be played 100 percent Tyler Hansbrough-free at 8:00 on TNT.

No comments: