!!!Middle East crisis solved!!!

Damn, I'm good. As I sat here waiting for updates on Lindsey Lohan's collapse due to "dehydration," I was able to piece together an unconventional, but sure-fire, way to bring peace to the Middle East. I can only pity the "pundits," who have been getting all worked up trying to find a solution by regurgitating the same crap already responsible for that tangled mess of a web.

Besides the folks on the liberal blogs, of course, where any talk of Israel has been banned, so as not to provoke a rhetorical civil war in the wordy, if not particularly important, American Left.

None of that matters now because, with very little effort, I've solved the latest crisis and perhaps the whole situation forever. The solution came to me via a search engine query that brought a citizen of the Islamic Republic of Iran to this space.

The Iranian was looking for "super sexy photos." Because my site is the one-stop shop for all things Timberlake and his mission to "bring sexy back" the Iranian was directed to jsb.

So, I'm like, egads, we have the other JT, who wants to bring sexy back, and we have Iran, who wants sexy.

Let's get them together!

At the very least the good-will created by this American-brokered marriage of convenience will result in Iran calling off the dogs of Hezbollah and declaring an immediate cessation of their controversial nuclear program.

If it turns out these crazy kids really like each other, expect an ebullient Timberlake to try to "burn it up" with every man, women and child in the Islamic Republic.

Good news sure, but somewhat tempered by word (from India?!?) that Lohan will be giving up partying. Well, you win some and you lose some.