What they do to get cell phone reception in Missouri

I've been having a lot of fun at the expense of "idle threats"over here at jsb. But I would be remiss if I didn't point out there is a dark side to the baseless declaration.

In Independence, Missouri a man named Marlon Brando Gill is being tried for forcing his girlfriend's cell phone down her throat during a drunken argument.

With a name like Marlon Brando, you'd think he'd be the one who ate the phone. Which is exactly what he accused her of doing, to prevent him from seeing who she had been calling

This is how I imagine it went down:

"If you don't give me that damn phone I'm going to shove it down your throat."

"If you take a step closer, I'm going to swallow it myself."

What happened next is up to the jury to decide. But the fact remains when the authorities found the hopelessly inebriated girlfriend a cell phone was logged in her esophagus.

So it's plain to see, while idle threats are usually fun, they can occasionally go horribly wrong.

That in mind, it is usually a bad idea to exchange idle threats with a close relation, and never a good idea to mix an idle threat with alcohol.