Thursday, April 12, 2007

But does Imus have hos in different area codes?

I was trying not to write any more about Imus but, damn it, they sucked me back in. Some (and by some I mean Matt Drudge) are leveling the hypocrisy charge against Barack Obama for calling for Imus's firing while it was only a few months ago that the presidential candidate met privately with the rapper Ludacris to discuss "empowering the youth."

Ludacris is best known for his musical ode to his nation-wide stable of hos, which he deftly organizes by area code. (Lyrics, video)

Now I know some of you are thinking "but that's way different. Imus was cruelly insulting hard-working student athletes, who never asked to be judged by their looks or supposed promiscuity, where Ludacris was referring to chicken-headed groupies with their brestices hanging out."

Fair enough. But consider this: Ludacris mentions at least 38 different area codes in his song, and clearly implies he has more than one ho in many of these regions. That's a lot of hos.

I don't think it's out of the bounds of possibility that at least one of Ludar's hos -- let's say Ms. 972 -- Dallas, Texas -- was also a sweet "dignified" hard-working 18-year old college student who happened to meet a popular entertainer after one of his concerts and was seduced into a sexual liaison with the kind of promises powerful men have been tricking impressionable young women with since the beginning of time.

The next day Ludar left her for a show in the 713 -- Houston, Texas -- but succeeded in making his latest subject feel like she was special and different.

Move forward a year and the young woman is listening to the radio when the new Ludacris hit, Area Codes, comes on. Suddenly Ms. 972 realizes that not only is she a ho, but that she has been reduced to a number in more ways then one.

Today there is much righteous sympathy for the Lady Scarlet Knights. But what about the real hos -- accidental or otherwise? If you prick a ho, does she not bleed?

As a society, if we can take one thing from the tragic Imus affair, it is that we should all show a bit more empathy for the hos. In different area codes.

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