Tuesday, May 22, 2007

This week in dog-related injuries

Paula Abdul had a painful run in -- or a run around -- with a Chihuahua this weekend. The American Idol judge was trying to avoid stepping on her pet when she fell down, breaking her nose and tearing a ligament.

Reading over accounts of the tragedy, I've noticed words like "claimed" and "allegedly" and "supposedly" being thrown around a lot. It seems like some don't believe Abdul's injuries were chihuahua-related, and something more sinister and inebriated is afoot.

I say there's not much that is more damning to your public claims of sobriety than an error in Chihuahua navigation which leads to bodily harm. The overly and self-medicated still do need a trigger for their mishaps. Sometimes it is a poorly placed wall (or a reckless lack of a wall,) and sometimes it is a rodent-like dog. Mark me down for buying what Paula is trying to sell.

If Michael Vick, who could be in a large amount of trouble with the NFL and the Feds for being involved in fighting dogs much larger than a chihuahua, has been paying attention to Paula's trials and tribulations, I fully expect the running quarterback to claim the poor, bloodied state of the 70 dogs found on the property he owns in Virginia is just a result of considerate canines trying to avoid stepping on each other.

Sure it sounds ridiculous, but Vick is in a real jam -- to fend off a NFL suspension he is going to have to offer up something. And, historically speaking, nobody mixes criminal behavior with absurdity like the once and forever Ron Mexico.

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