The case for steering wheel mounted DVD players

As a high school basketball star, Eddie Griffin was often compared to Wilt Chamberlain. As a collegian and a pro he was known for fighting with teammates, enjoying alcohol, and generally letting everybody down.

But that doesn't mean Griffin wasn't striving for greatness in his own way. In June of 2006 Griffin became the first man in recorded history to attempt to operate a motor vehicle while legally drunk, watching pornography and masturbating. For daring to go where no man had gone before, Griffin paid the price with a couple smashed cars and a civil lawsuit.

Still, that didn't deter the 6 foot 10 inch power forward. Griffin died this summer after crashing his SUV into an oncoming train. While his body was too badly charred for an accurate accounting of what happened, I like to think Griffin died doing what he loved: Operating a motor vehicle while legally drunk, watching pornography and masturbating.

And with Griffin so went humanity's dream of ever achieving the total freedom that is getting totally smashed on booze and then hitting the open road as you rub one out to your favorite porno flick.

Or so I thought. I didn't take into account Cameron Walker, the Irving, Texas man who was pulled over Saturday night and cited for a slew of misdemeanors involving an open container, a ten inch screen showing naked fornication and an "obscene display."

We don't know much about Walker and, since he is not a professional basketball player, his story of wanking in the face of convention and better judgement is unlikely to get the coverage it deserves.

What we do know is that Walker is only 24. Which gives him plenty of time to perfect his craft. So I say ride on, Cameron Walker. Ride on with one hand on the bottle, the other hand on the so-called chicken and your eyes fixed firmly on the thrusts of a shapely adult film actress.

Do it for the rest of us, who dare not.