Praying is a responsibility and isn't for everyone

This season, the hot new trend in prayer is praying for celebrities. Or so says the Hollywood Prayer Network, a group of more than 5,000 Christians who get down on their knees for the well-being of stars ranging from Britney Spears to Dakota Fanning.

Now I'm firmly on record as stating celebrities are better and more important than the rest of us. In the past I've also advocated that famous people shouldn't have to pay taxes. But even I draw the line at praying for celebs.

The truth is, with their dramatic nature and legendary egocentrism, celebrities are ideally suited for praying really hard on their own behalf and/or getting their assistant to pray really hard for them.

And anyone who thinks prayer doesn't already play a large role in the fast-paced Hollywood lifestyle has obviously never spent time in a bathroom stall at Hyde, trying to keep their heart from jumping out of their chest, after eating one too many of the pills that French guy who was hanging out with Owen Wilson gave them.

Look, I know history posits praying for the poor and downtrodden is a monumental waste of time. Just like I know that in this era of slash-and-burn politics it's tough to invest intercessory energy on any of our seemingly irredeemable leaders. I can also see how this is all beginning to pose a problem for the busybody who can't just pray for their friends and family like a normal person.

But praying for Britney? Come now. If nothing else, she would never pray for you. Unless you happen to be a bag of Cheetos or a milkshake.