Week 16 picks

Last week I went 8-8. Which still leaves me in the hole at 113-115-16. I have a very bad feeling about the picks below. I should point out that I've been pretty accurate in predicting which weeks I am going to bomb. So I do have that going for me.

PITTSBURGH at St. Louis (+7.5) Funny how after all this talk of Barack Obama being the "rock star" of the '08 campaign it is Rudy who is briefly hospitalized for highly suspicious "flu-like symptoms."

Dallas at CAROLINA (+10.5) Now that T.O. has weighed in on the Jessica Simpson curse it reminds us all that it has been more than ten years since the last time a popular young female singer has wrecked a promising Dallas sports franchise.

Cleveland at CINCINNATI (+3) The best part of any battle for Ohio is everyone is a loser.

GREEN BAY at Chicago (+8.5) "Sexy Rexy" Grossman may be on his way out of The Windy City, but the Cubs have already stepped in to fill Chicago's need for salacious innuendo in headline writing by signing Japanese import Kosuke Fukudome.

Houston at INDIANAPOLIS (-7) Indy continues to bore under the radar.

Kansas City at DETROIT (-4.5) Don't look now but the Chiefs have lost seven in a row. (Extra emphasis on the don't look now.)

Giants at BUFFALO (+3) Yesterday it was announced the release of Lynn Spears's book on parenting has been quashed in light of her only two daughters both being reckless whores. Shouldn't the "Eli Manning is Unstoppable" Citizens Watch ad campaign meet the same fate in light of Eli being perhaps the most "stoppable" paid quarterback alive today.

OAKLAND at Jacksonville (-14) Is there anybody out there the Raiders wouldn't start at QB before giving number one overall pick JaMarcus Russell a chance?

PHILADELPHIA at New Orleans (-3) I read somewhere that Brian Westbrook's selfless sacrifice of six points so the Eagles could run the clock out against the Cowboys caused at least 25 million dollars in Fantasy Football cash to change hands.

Atlanta at ARIZONA (-10) After his flirtation with the Falcons, Parcells chose instead to work for the historically hapless Dolphins. Which raises the possibility that Michael Vick doesn't think his relocation from Atlanta to prison is much of a downgrade.

TAMPA BAY at San Francisco (+6) It didn't quite crack yesterday's top ten songs of the year list, but Okkervil River's Plus Ones had my favorite lyrics of 2007.

Miami at NEW ENGLAND (-22) The Dolphins win last week probably prevented this one from moving into all-time largest spread territory.

Baltimore at SEATTLE (-11) Still off the board, and will be until the Ravens announce who will start at QB this week.

JETS at Tennessee (-10) It's only fair to point out that suspended Titan DB Pacman Jones hasn't gotten arrested in at least three months.

Washington at MINNESOTA (-6.5) Jason Campbell might be Washington's QB of the future, but the 'Skins look a lot better with ancient Todd Collins at the helm. Which is odd, because all Collins does is throw incomplete passes.

Denver at SAN DIEGO (-9) The AFC West might be the most disappointing division in the NFL this year, but the Chargers were able to capitalize and take the divisional title in week 15!