Pootie Poo gets his due

As you probably know Vladimir Putin was declared Time's "Person of The Year" this week. While the pick disgusted Mitt Romney, it pleased President Bush, who waxed on about "looking forward to seeing him (and his soul) at the alumni meeting of the men of the year."

I really like the pick, as I have been a big fan of Putin ever since he became the first world leader in recent history to lift the shirt and kiss the tummy of a young boy in a public square, explain his odd behavior by stating "I tell you honestly, I just wanted to touch him like a kitten," yet only gain popularity in the molestation's aftermath. (It's a barely known fact, but Austrian President Franz Jonas was forced to leave office under the exact same circumstance.)

In more seriousness, I really can't argue with Putin being person of the year. Of course nobody really knows who the person of the year is, but Putin, who makes a mockery of democracy in a refreshingly upfront manner -- while he rules a country that is chock full of oil and nuclear missiles -- is as good a pick as any.

What Mitt Romney can't understand is the "Person of The Year" isn't given to the person with the best hair or the kind of attributes 8 out of 10 focus group participants prefer. It is given to the person "who has, for better or worse, done the most to influence the events of the year."

Which is why Time dodged a big-time bullet when Jamie-Lynn Spears waited so long to disclose her pregnancy. I know I'd hate to grapple with the abortion debate implications of naming a fetus person of the year.