Thursday, January 03, 2008

Beauty pageant winner misdeeds jump the shark

Over the last year or so a bunch of beauty pageant winners have been involved in very public screw ups and it's been totally cute because their sins have all been of the risque photographs, falling off the stage, being slutty and answering relatively simple questions with legendary ineptness nature.

But not all disgraced beauty queens are so adorable. Take for example Kumari Fulbright, the young woman pictured. Maybe it's the jawline, maybe it's the AK-47, or maybe it's because she stands accused of the kidnapping and torture of a former boyfriend, but it looks to me like the only pageant title Fulbright should have been vying for is one with the word "trans" in it.

In actuality Fulbright is a winner of both the Miss Pima County and Miss Desert Sun pageants, and competed for Miss Arizona this year. If you are wondering why Fulbright and her three accomplishes kidnapped and tortured her former boyfriend, these mugshots seem to implicate the prolonged use of methamphetamines.

The problem here is, really, once every podunk desert county awards a Miss this or that, eventually there will be a large enough pool of pageant winners that the law of averages dictate at least one is bound to spend a couple days smoking meth before pulling a Mr. Blonde on a former boyfriend -- all the while putting the "queen" back into beauty queen.

Still, this statistical observation doesn't take away from the fact Kumari Fulbright, with her wanton violence and trailer park drug choice, has disgraced the legacy of an entire generation of disgraced former beauty queens. You know, the ones with the nice soft facial features, and the seen-first-on-the-Internet candid photographs of nipple licking.

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