Week 9 Picks

Green Bay at BUFFALO (-3.5) The Borat movie left festival audiences in stitches and is getting terrific reviews. Yet, despite a full court press of a marketing campaign, it tracked so poorly it is now in limited release. Its opening weekend numbers will be the most scrutinized in recent memory.

TENNESSEE at Jacksonville (-10) If the mustachioed Kazakh does take America, where does that leave Jeff Fisher?

NEW ORLEANS at Tampa Bay (+1) Reggie Bush reevaluated: A prominent scout just referred to Bush as a "poor man's" Dave Meggett. The most yards Meggett ever had from scrimmage in a season was 639.

Miami at CHICAGO (-13.5) Is Joey Harrington worse than Culpepeper? That would like be saying Kornheiser is worse than Dennis Miller. Wait a minute . . .

Kansas City at ST. LOUIS (-2) Take the over on the number of political ads aired during the broadcast.

Houston at NY GIANTS (-13) When I saw the Texan's new QB is named Sage Rosenfels I wondered if he was Jewish. But then I noticed he was from Iowa. But then I found out he was Jewish. And from Iowa. Unprecedented? According to Wikipedia he jokes about growing up fashioning yarmulkes from corn husks.

DALLAS at Washington (+3) With the way things are going for the Redskins, and for the Evangelical leaders, I wouldn't be surprised if Joe Gibbs is found in a compromising position with one of his highly paid assistant coaches. Or Brunell.

Cincinnati at BALTIMORE (-3) Too much time spent with the DWI "criminals" on the Bengals has tricked Chad Johnson into thinking it's OK to threaten alleged murderer Ray Lewis.

ATLANTA at Detroit (+5) I needed a QB this week because my starter had a bye. I could have picked up Vick but didn't. This pretty much guarantees he will have his third straight big week.

MINNESOTA at San Francisco (+4.5) The Forty-niners need to get Bill Walsh back from Coors. Or sign Barry Bonds. Anything

DENVER at Pittsburgh (-3) If Cowher was around during the 70's he would have readily taken responsibility for the collapse of the steel industry.

CLEVELAND at San Diego (-12.5) Merriman's four game steroid suspension has left him inexplicably giddy.

INDIANAPOLIS at New England (-3) Tom Brady, who has spent his life in San Fransisco, Ann Arbor and New England, is to occasionally Southern accents as Madonna is to occasionally British accents. It's funny now, but no one will be laughing when Brady tries to "adopt" Troy Brown.

Oakland at SEATTLE (-7) The key to beating Oakland is not letting them return a bunch of interceptions for touchdowns. That's all.